Expectations
Expectations in relationships
- partners feel certain obligations towards each other but it is not healthy, or good to feel too much of those obligations, especially when it causes disconnection from one another and puts too much pressure upon the relationship
- when their are expectations, high or low, the partners may feel that the expectations are binding and causing limitations in the relationship
- partners should not necessarily expect something from the other person in the relationship, especially if it has not been talked about or discussed, because that just leads to disappointment which leads to arguing
- when placing expectations upon a relationship, people should not use their past relationship experiences as a a goal of what to do and what not to do, because every person is different and you can’t expect your ast boyfriend/ girlfriend to do the same things as your current
- in relationships, most thing it is better and more fulfilling, if a person “surprises,” you with out specifically thinking that they will do what you want them to do.... “expect the unexpected”
- when you hold onto unrealistic expectations, you cause relationships to not fulfill you or be satisfying
- in order to avoid this problem you need to respect change in the relationship, how you start out when dating, will not always be the same as the way you act towards each other when you continue to get serious and more involved with each other
- accept differences; some things that we want to change about others they cannot always change due to the fact that people are who they are
- express wants and needs: do not expect that your partner will know what you want when you want it
- respect your partner’s rights; allow your partner to have his/ her own feelings and respect them
- always be prepared to fight fairly; when you try to avoid fights, the discontent just builds up within the relationship, do not expect that things will go away without a conflict arising and not discussing the situation
- “We may expect a great deal from others because we are dependent. We may lack confidence and rely on others to fill the void of our unsatisfied needs. Our demands of others may become overwhelming as we pursue and then watch as our friends back-peddle in reaction to our needs.”- James P Krehbiel
